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Teddy Lowery, a senior at Parkway High
School says he knows very well the pain that comes from bullying. Lowry has attempted suicide several times after being bullied for his sexual preferences.(Photo: Douglas Collier/The Times) |
On Christmas Day, at only 17 years old, he attempted suicide.
He isn't alone. The suicide attempt rate for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer students is four times greater than for their straight peers. Experts say support and awareness from parents, teachers and school administrators can help lower the rate – and make students feel safe.
"I would purposely do things that would hurt me just because I didn't want to live anymore," Lowery said recently. "I never wanted to live past 18. Ever since seventh grade, I never thought I was going to live past 18, and now here I am — 22 days from being 18."
Bullying from his peers, school officials and community members throughout his life, he said, took a toll on the Parkway High School senior as he tried to focus on graduating. He felt isolated and alone.
"The students at Parkway would tell me that I'm an abomination and going to burn in hell," Lowery said.
"They said I should just kill myself because nobody cared about me anyways."
Lowery added, "They made me feel weird because I liked boys."
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Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24 behind accidents or unintentional injuries, according to the Trevor Project, a national organization that provides LGBT youth crisis and suicide intervention.
Noreen Giga, a research associate at the Gay, Lesbian, & Straight Education Network, said teachers may not be getting the proper support training to recognize a student in jeopardy.
"We know the support of educators is beneficial to creating a more positive school climate," Giga said. "We know that overall LGBT students experience a hostile climate at school. So they experience high rates of victimization and feel unsafe at their school because of their sexual orientation or gender expression."
Giga added, "We know that many students miss school because they're feeling unsafe or uncomfortable."
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Lowery hasn't felt safe at school for many years and refuses to report the bullying to school officials for fear of retaliation. He said he voiced his concern to adults at his school during his freshman year but hasn't since.
"I stopped going to the office to report anything that happened because I knew it would make it worse. The office just kind of pushed the problem under the rug," Lowery said. "Boys would walk out of the bathroom and say, 'I'm not using the bathroom with a dirty faggot,' and give me dirty looks if I stand in the stall next to them."
"I've never felt safe at school — it's a big trigger for my depression."
Bossier Parish Schools are unable to discuss individual cases of alleged bullying or harassment, outcomes of those complaints or verify if a complaint was made, said Bossier Schools public relations liaison Sonja Bailes.
"Make no mistake, however, the district does not tolerate bullying or harassment in any form toward any individual, regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation," she said. "If a reported incident meets legal criteria of bullying or harassment as set forth by the state, which is defined as a series of incidents or repeated pattern as opposed to a one-time occurrence, the district must investigate to determine whether it did or did not take place."
Eight out of 10 LGBT students are harassed at school, according to GLSEN, a national organization focused on ensuring schools are safe for LGBT students.
"There was this one week, sophomore year, where it felt like everybody had something to say about (me) and I cried in class every day that week," Lowery said. "That was the first time I told my mom that I wanted to die."
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| Katie De Santiago (Photo: Douglas Collier/The Times) |
Lowery's mother, Sarah Parsons, won't allow him to crumble underneath the verbal attacks. She's his biggest supporter.
"The last two years have been very rough in our house with him," she said. "It terrifies me because if you would've asked me a year ago I wouldn't have thought my kid was going to be alive today. It scares me because he still has bad days."
Parsons looked at her son and said, "You're doing amazing and I support you. I stand behind you."
Students aren't the only ones bullying.
According to the Human Rights Campaign, nearly 57 percent of LGBT youth say churches or places of worship in their communities often aren't accepting of LGBT people.
Katie and Jasmine De Santiago experienced indirect LGBT criticism while attending their grandmother's church last summer for Bible study. Both sisters don't feel completely comfortable exposing their individual sexual orientation to peers and church members.
Katie De Santiago is a senior at C.E. Byrd High School and Jasmine is a student at Magnolia School of Excellence.
"After the Pulse Nightclub (Florida) shooting, a bunch of stuff happened with ISIS and someone in the church said, 'I hope the gays repented for their sins before they had gotten shot'," Katie said. "Then the pastor basically compared gays to ISIS. I was disappointed, and it's not the first time they've said something about gays."
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| Katie (right) and Jasmine De Santiago haven't personally experienced bullying at C.E. Byrd or Magnolia School of Excellence. But they have felt negative, embarrassed and sad because peers would say indirect gay jokes and discriminatory slurs. (Photo: Douglas Collier/The Times) |
Meredith Nelson, an associate professor of psychology at LSUS, said while most gay teen bullying comes from school peers, other societal factors make students feel alienated including adults, religion and politics. Many LGBT youth have higher rates of substance abuse in addition to suicide attempts, she said.
"Adolescence is a time for identity development and determining who you want to be," she said. "Students can get very depressed, develop low self-esteem and can feel ostracized as far as peer groups and athletics. Lower self-esteem leads to poor academics and overall performance. Many times it's hard to find counselors that are helpful to them or mental health professionals in general."
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Tosh Morgan, a Louisiana Tech University freshman and Benton High School graduate, never wanted to come out during high school for safety reasons.
Morgan said coaches would openly promote homophobic language on athletic fields and voiced their disgust when a gay boy wanted to become homecoming king. He decided not to report the incidents for fear of retaliation.
"They think less of you and make it apparent that they won't help you," he said. "It makes you feel alone or depressed. If there's no one to help you, then you'll eventually spiral down until someone does help."
Morgan added: "I was never outwardly out. I had to pretend to be someone else, and it felt like I was living in a shell."
It's common for adults not to realize how their comments are affecting students who are have unique gender expressions and sexual orientations, Nelson said.
"Sometimes the intolerance is coming from adults who kids may be looking up to such as educators or coaches," Nelson said. "We're getting better, but I don't now if our local community is completely open to it."
Where is the love?
Lowery said he requested a Gay-Straight Alliance club at Parkway to promote awareness and to have a "safe" place for his peers, but finding a sponsor who will follow through is difficult, he said.
Bailes said the district hasn't told any students they couldn't have a certain type of club, although the requested club must have a faculty sponsor to hold the organization accountable.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, schools should identify "safe spaces" such as a counselor's office or designated classrooms or create student-led organizations that are welcoming and supportive.
Giga said Gay-Straight Alliance clubs can contribute to safer and more inclusive schools for LGTB students .
"LGTB students who attended schools with a GSA heard anti-LGBT remarks less frequently than those in schools without a GSA," she said. "We know that LGBT students in schools with a GSA were less likely to report feeling unsafe because of their sexual orientation or gender expression."
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|
Teddy Lowery, a senior at Parkway High School
says he knows very well the pain that comes
from bullying. Lowry has attempted suicide several
times after being bullied for his sexual preferences.
(Photo: Douglas Collier/The Times)
|
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The Louisiana School for Math, Science, and the Arts GSA was founded 14 years ago as an opportunity for students to come together and share experiences.
Andrew Nieman sponsored the club for seven years and said it provides a "home base" where honest communication among peers prospers.
"When topics such as Proposition 8, Don't Ask Don't Tell, marriage equality, or transgender bathrooms came up in the public discussion, the GSA was there to help our community tackle these topics so that friends of the LGBT community could talk about the subject without stepping on eggshells," Nieman said.
Nieman added, "The presence of a GSA is arguably the single most important way schools can reduce bullying and violence toward LGBT students. When you think about the fact that a lot of bullying can stem from lack of understanding and empathy, GSAs help by removing the 'other'. To bullies, LGBT people are now the students' friends, family members, classmates and teachers."
Brad Campbell, a Caddo Middle Magnet School teacher, said a discussion among students, school administrators, school districts, parents and community members needs to happen sooner rather than later.
"If we could get every single teacher that is supportive in the room at the same time in front of the officials, then there might just be enough push to say there is a want and need," Campbell said. "We need to open the discussion."
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| North Carolina recently passed a hastily written bill, signed by Gov. Pat McCrory, to pre-empt a Charlotte law that would have allowed transgender folks to visit the facility corres- ponding to their gender identity. (Photo: AFP/Getty Images) |
Bossier Parish Schools employees are required to take a state-mandated online course for professional development. The district has a full-time crisis intervention team, mental health liaison, military student liaison, individual school counselors and offers professional development training. The district also provides professional development training through Project Sew-B-It, which addresses the social and emotional well being of students and staff at Airline High School, R.V. Kerr Elementary, Parkway High School and Stockwell Place Elementary.
Bailes also said SOS or Sign of Suicide programs have been implemented at the middle and high school levels.
Caddo Parish Schools also provides professional development and support training. The district follows Act 861, or the Bullying Prevention Act, which requires four hours of training yearly for teachers and Act 219, or the Suicide Prevention Act, which requires two hours of training for teachers yearly, according to district officials.
The district doesn't permit bullying and requires students, teachers and other school personnel to take reasonable measures within their individual authority to prevent violations of the policy.
Barzanna White, a Caddo Schools psychologist, said the next LSUS Continuing Education Suicide Prevention Conference is Dec. 9 at LSUS.
“We will have a session or two related to counseling students at higher risks,” she said. “That will primarily be for LGBT. It’ll be one of the breakout sessions in which individuals can choose to attend because they don’t have to, but I think we’ll have quite a few individuals who want to get more information.”
Though school districts emphasize the importance of understanding bullying and suicide prevention, community members and experts believe additional training should be implemented.
Giga said full support from administrators, teachers, parents and students can help foster a more positive school climate for LGBT students. Educators can use "safe space" or rainbow stickers/posters to inform LGBT students that they are welcomed, she said.
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Schools' curricula should include teaching LGBT history and events in comprehensive ways, she said.
 |
|
Teddy Lowery, a senior at
Parkway High School says he knows
very well the pain
that comes from bullying.
Lowry has attempted suicide several times
after being bullied for his sexual preferences.
(Photo: Doug Collier/The Times)
|
Morgan said he would like to see a statewide change in school policy to include homophobic language and slurs in the zero tolerance policy.
This process won't happen overnight, but something needs to happen where LGBT students can walk into school and feel safe for who they are, Nelson emphasized.
"It's so sad. Most people in our area that have a really hard time with it believe it's a choice instead of a biological genetic," Nelson said. "So they think you can choose not to be that way."
Lowery refuses to be a victim anymore and wants to inform peers that everything gets better.
He feels he is blossoming.
"I've been a victim for so long and I'm finally stepping up to become a voice," Lowery said. "I want to be there to support my community."
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Resources
- P.A.C.E. Young Adult Support Group meets the second Thursday each month at 7 p.m. on a local campus. Contact the group coordinator, Guy Robison, at PACEYoungAdult@gmail.com
- GLSEN's offers free professional development tool kits and educational resources for educators and school districts at no charge. Go to http://www.glsen.org/educate/resources.
-Philadelphia Center offers free HIV/STD testing
- The LGBT+ Book Club meets at 6:30 on the last Tuesday of every month at Broadmoor Library. For more information: (318) 219- 1028.
- Centenary's LGBTQIA (GSA), also known as Outreach. Contact William Morrison at wmorrison@my.centenary.edu or Sebastian Weinell at sweiness@my.centenary.edu
- The Alliance at LSUS: A Gay and Straight Alliance meets every Wednesday at 11 a.m. in Business-Education room 105.
-Gay Straight Alliance at BPCC at www.bpcc.edu/multiculturalaffairs/lgbt.html
Fast Facts
- 42 percent of LGBT youth say the community in which they live is not accepting of LGBT people
- 26 percent of LGBT youth say their biggest problems are not being accepted by family, bullying and fear of be "out"
- Eight out of 10 LGBT students are harassed at school
- Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24
Pull-out Quotes
Teddy Lowery- "The students at Parkway would tell me that I'm an abomination and going to burn in hell," Lowery said. "They said I should just kill myself because nobody cared about me anyways."
Tosh Archibald-"I was never outwardly out. I had to pretend to be someone else and it felt like I was living in a shell."
Katie De Santiago-"After the Pulse Nightclub (Florida) shooting, a bunch of stuff happened with ISIS and someone in the church said 'I hope the gays repented for their sins before they had gotten shot,'" Katie said. "Then the pastor basically compared gays to ISIS. I was disappointed and it's not the first time they've said something about gays."
Jasmine De Santiago- "(Students) are like 'oh that's so gay or you're so gay.' F-A-G still bothers me and other people when they say that."
This article is from The Times
shreveporttimes.com
Part of the USA Today Network
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