I may have HIV but HIV will NEVER have ME
05/24/2017
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Once again another year has almost come to pass since I was first diagnosed with HIV. I can still remember May 28th, 2009 at 10:15 am just like it was yesterday. Why is it we seem to remember the exact date and time of our diagnosis? I have seen many people comment about this in the HIV groups I have joined. The only thing I can personally think is that it is probably because we all had the same thought “I have just been given a death sentence”.
Although, we know from modern science and
research that being told you are HIV Positive is not a “death sentence”
anymore, the thought still creeps in there like a bad dream when you hear those
words for the first time. I cannot say it has been a bed of roses for the past
eight years. There have been times of overwhelming waves of depression, bouts
of feeling like I am the only one struggling, feelings of loneliness, feelings
of being unworthy of being loved, feeling lost and confused, and the list goes
on and on...
Even though I am “healthy” according to my
“numbers”, I still feel uneasy at times knowing this virus called HIV is
lurking inside my body trying to do me harm. I take my medication regularly
like clock-work, because I know if I stop I will risk becoming sick and
resistant to treatment. Wow, it all seems so overwhelming at times, I
wonder how I have gotten this far. I know in my heart if it were not for the
love of my wonderful partner, my loving family, supportive friends, and my
relationship with God, I would not be here today.
 |
| My Partner in LIFE, Scott Freeman, has keep me going, encouraging me to NEVER give up. |
Yes, there have been those thoughts that it would
be much easier on everyone if I would just die, but that is just a LIE!! I live
my life for myself, my partner, my family, my God!! I live so I may share with
others the importance of respecting yourself enough to protect yourself from
the hell of living with HIV.
You may be reading this and thinking oh well if I
get infected I can just take ONE
PILL a DAY and all will be fine. THINK AGAIN!!
Modern science has helped tremendously with the
control of HIV in your body with medication, however all HIV medication has
side effects and everyone experiences them differently. When diagnosed with
HIV, the mental and emotional trauma that comes with being HIV Positive is more
than some can stand. It is therefore; very important you depend loved ones,
friends or counselors to help you cope with the news.
Once you start working through the feelings of
dread, here come all the things HIV does to destroy your body. HIV fights to
kill your immune system, lymph system, cardiovascular system, central nervous
system, then comes neuropathy, kidney issues, liver issues, pancreas,
gallbladder, you name it and HIV affects it. Yes, controlling HIV is sometimes
as easy as taking ONE PILL a DAY, but there are strains of the virus that are
resistant and you have to take more. Once HIV has time to mature and start
doing damage you will be adding more and more medications to your menu to take
each day. So NO, HIV is really
NOT a ONCE A DAY PILL illness.
Good NEWS is that once you get your HIV under
control and you are undetectable for at least 6 months, you will more than
likely NOT give it to someone else.
There have been many research studies to PROVE:
UNDETECTABLE = UNTRANSMITTABLE
So
your number one goal will be to get on a medication as soon as possible to keep
the HIV Virus from duplicating and going on a rampage through your body.
If you have been recently diagnosed with HIV or any other life
threatening illness take the time to do your research. Learn from others how
they have learned to cope. Listen to your doctor. Learn to live life, not let
it pass you by. Get out of the house and do not let depression take control of
your life. Get involved with a support group or church group that can help you
get through the initial shock. Life is worth living even with the disease.
Learn to say, I may have HIV or whatever, but it does not have me. Surround
yourself with positive upbeat people who will love and support you in this
troublesome time.
Since my diagnosis with HIV in 2009, I have learned that life is
so precious and it is up to me to make the best of it every day. When fighting
a virus that wants to kill you, you must
take a whole new outlook on life. I have learned that I need to take better
care of my body by putting the proper nutrients in so it can fight. I have
learned that medication as good as it is, is not enough to keep you healthy.
You must research your disease and learn what your body needs to be fed in
order to help you fight back.
I was very fortunate to find a doctor who started me on a
treatment regimen early enough to get my disease under control early. I
have suffered side effects from taking the medication, but letting the disease
kill me was not an option I wanted to consider. I have done my research and
found the proper nutrients to put in my body to help me with the side effects
from the medication. Working together, the medication and the nutritional
supplements have made me a healthy individual.
As I think back over the last eight years, I just have to say that
I have been so blessed to have a wonderful, supportive network of friends and
family to keep me going. I have chosen to LIVE!! I will not let HIV dictate how
I live my life! I will continue taking my medication!! I will continue taking
my supplements!! I will continue to live and love and be loved!!
I pray if you made it all the way to the end here that you will be
blessed and have hope that everything will be okay. It just takes time to
adjust to a new life living with HIV. If you would like to follow me on Facebook
or Twitter,
just click on the name to go to my page. You can also visit my Blog,
here.
Blessings and Peace,
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