My Continued Journey Living with HIV

My Continued Journey Living with HIV

Once again another year has almost come to pass since I was first diagnosed with HIV. I can still remember May 28^th, 2009 at 10:15 am just like it was yesterday. Why is it we seem to remember the exact date and time of our diagnosis? I have seen many people comment about this in the HIV groups I have joined. The only thing I can personally think is that it is probably because we all had the same thought “I have just been given a death sentence”.

Although, we know from modern science and research that being told you are HIV Positive is not a “death sentence” anymore, the thought still creeps in there like a bad dream when you hear those words for the first time. I can not say it has been a bed of roses for the past three years. There have been times of overwhelming waves of depression, bouts of feeling like I am the only one struggling, feelings of loneliness, feelings of being unworthy of being loved, feeling lost and confused, and the list goes on and on..

Even though I am “healthy” according to my “numbers”, I still feel uneasy at times knowing this virus called HIV is lurking inside my body trying to do me harm. I take my medication regularly like clock-work, because I know if I stop I will risk becoming sick and resistant to treatment.  Wow, it all seems so overwhelming at times, I wonder how I have gotten this far. I know in my heart if it were not for the love of my wonderful partner, my loving family, supportive friends, and my relationship with God, I would not be here today. 

Yes, there have been those thoughts that it would be much easier on everyone if I would just die, but that is just a LIE!! I live my life for myself, my partner, my family, my God!! I live so I may share with others the importance of respecting yourself enough to protect yourself from the hell of living with HIV. You may be reading this and thinking oh well if I get infected I can just take a pill and it will all be okay.  THINK AGAIN!! Modern science has helped tremendously with the control of HIV in your body with medication, but all the mental and emotional trauma that comes with being HIV Positive is more than most can stand.

If you have been recently diagnosed with HIV or any other life threatening illness take the time to do your research. Learn from others how they have learned to cope. Listen to your doctor. Learn to live life, not let it pass you by. Get out of the house and do not let depression take control of your life. Get involved with a support group or church group that can help you get through the initial shock. Life is worth living even with the disease. Learn to say, I may have HIV or whatever, but it does not have me. Surround yourself with positive upbeat people who will love and support you in this troublesome time.

Since my diagnosis with HIV in 2009, I have learned that life is so precious and it is up to me to make the best of it every day. When fighting a virus that wants to kill you, you must take a whole new outlook on life. I have learned that I need to take better care of my body by putting the proper nutrients in so it can fight. I have learned that medication as good as it is, is not enough to keep you healthy. You must research your disease and learn what your body needs to be fed in order to help you fight back.

I was very fortunate to find a doctor who started me on a treatment regimen early enough to get my disease under control early.  I have suffered side effects from taking the medication, but letting the disease kill me was not an option I wanted to consider. I have done my research and found the proper nutrients to put in my body to help me with the side effects from the medication. Working together, the medication and the nutritional supplements, have made me a healthy individual.

As I think back over the last three years, I just have to say that I have been so blessed to have a wonderful, supportive network of friends and family to keep me going. I have chosen to LIVE!! I will not let HIV dictate how I live my life! I will continue taking my medication!! I will continue taking my supplements!!  I will continue to live and love and be loved!!

Blessings and Love,

David